woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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