the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
