I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
