i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize