Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
