Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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