u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
