SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
