bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
