what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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