just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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