I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
