Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
