I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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