i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
