I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
