fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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