so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
