I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
