Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
