i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
