He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
