You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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