Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
