I just threw up on my dentist
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
