I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
