We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
