I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
