She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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