Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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