dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
