When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
