It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize