I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
