Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
