After last night, I could never be a politician.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
