There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
