Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize