Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
