HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Boobs speak an international language.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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