i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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