3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
