I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
