apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize