he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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