so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
