who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
our cab driver is having phone sex.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
