i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
