You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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