Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
