Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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