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ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
