RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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