As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he thought i was a dude.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
