Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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