dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
