She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
