hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
