All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
