I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
