You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
