Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
