Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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