That's intense
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize