i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
