My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
