they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
