i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
