i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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