You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
