I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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