i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
