ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
