about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
